First Thing's First

    There once was a minister. He was a very good one. He was at the hospital all the time visiting congregation members. He spent all of his free time studying in the Word, and when he wasn't doing that he would lock his office door, whether at his home or at the church and pray through his prayer list. He was involved in the community and would host various community-wide functions at his large church and gave generously to charity. He was a morally upright man, even when he had opportunities to be sneaky. He even had a beautiful family; two daughters and a son. His wife was a very sweet, beautiful woman. He was the man every man wanted to be. He was successful at everything... Well. Maybe not everything.

     Years passed quickly and the minister became an old man. Laying on his death bed he said, "I wish I could go back." No one was there to hear him. No one was there because his wife had divorced him some years before. Her reason was that her husband was never around, and she would end up living life alone anyway. She wanted a man that would take vacations with her, not cancel every other date night due to work, and support her in her dreams and aspirations as much as she supported his. His son joined the army to get away from family problems and was killed a couple years later serving oversees. One daughter died of a drug overdose while in high school, and the other had a beautiful family the minister had only seen a couple times due to his own demanding schedule.

     This may seem like an extreme case, but it happens far too often. It's painful to read, but there are truly men who look back on their lives and this is what they see. If you ask older people what they regret most about their past you will rarely find that they wished they could have been more successful in the workplace. They regret things like divorce, not spending more time with loved ones, and not teaching their kids about things that truly matter.

     A number of old men and mentors taught me this lesson. In fifteen days I will have been married for a whoppin' two years to a woman who is another kind of beautiful. She is gorgeous, smart, and talented beyond words. She lights up everything around her and I am convinced that God made us for each other. A little over five months ago she gave me a son that is already so intelligent and handsome. When we go out in public, he makes both of us very proud with how well he reacts to others and how perfectly he behaves.

      A little over 6 months ago I said goodbye to a wonderful church family. I was a youth pastor who was working an additional full time job and trying to finish my education with a full time load of classes. My reason for saying goodbye to such an amazing group of people is the lesson that I'm trying to convey to you now. I had too much going on. My son was about to be born and I dropped what could have been a very good career move in exchange for my family. I'm not tooting my own horn, because it was a very difficult choice that took an agonizing six months to make. A lot of tears fell at the altar of that church during nights where I would go alone to pray for the kids and adults alike. I spent countless hours on my face in that empty, quiet sanctuary trying to figure out what the right thing to do was. Then I remembered the story above and the lesson other men have learned the hard way and tried to pass on to me.

    It has been my dream to be a successful author and pastor for a long time. It has also been my dream to be a successful husband, father, and family man. But when it comes right down to the choice, I would rather die an old man, holding the hand of this amazing woman sitting beside me now, and know that I had shared all the time needed and wanted training my son up in the ways of Christ, than preach to the nations and pastor the most amazing church on the planet. There's nothing wrong with being a successful pastor and author, but my wife and son come first.

     So what's the first step to being a successful priest, protector, and provider? Know you're priorities. If you're honest with yourself and you search your heart, I believe you'll find that no matter what occupation you've chosen, you'd rather be successful as the leader of your family, than be successful as the leader of your department, branch, company, or industry. Figure out now what really matters to you and make your priorities.

      In closing I'll leave you with an exercise that I picked up from a guy named Andy Stanley:

     Get a notebook and a pen and pick 3 or more people out of different areas of your life and write a paragraph of what you would want each person to say at your funeral. Then go back and look deeper and pick key words out of each paragraph such as "honest, family man, strong, courageous, Christ-follower, etc." and right them down. Then right those words down in your priority order on a list. What you will have is a list of the things that are most important to you in life in priority order. Put that list where you will see it a lot and pray that God will help you adjust where necessary and help you keep your priorities. Other priorities may change over time in life, but God should always be number one, and family should always be right after Him.

DL

Foreword

     It has been said that the two greatest days in a person's life are the day they are born and the day they find out why. When most of us think of a calling we think of a job title, or some sort of occupation. While these are callings, most of us do not have just one calling on our lives. On the contrary, the vast majority of us have a handful of callings. Some of us are called to be firefighters, soldiers, scholars, engineers, ministers, and the list goes on and on. Those are simply occupations though. The most meaningful callings in life, however, are those that have little to do with how we make our money. Every man inherits these callings when he says the words "I do." Priest; The calling to lead your wife and family down the spiritual path of righteousness and make Jesus the priority in your home. Protector; The calling to put yourself in between the spiritual, mental, and physical dangers that seek to "steal, kill, and destroy" your wife and your family. To have no mercy on the sin and the evil that threatens you and yours. Provider; the calling to be responsible and look after the needs of your family through hard work and love.

     I'll be posting at least once a week and sometimes more. I pray that as you read this blog, you will find it to help you better understand the callings that our Father in heaven has passed on to us as the leaders of our families. Remember that love is not a feeling. It's an action.

DL